just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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