forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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