I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
