dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
