He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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