I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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