He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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