So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
