I'm going to jail i love you
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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