We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
