4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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