Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
