Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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