i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
