umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
