Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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