..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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