I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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