Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
