I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
