I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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