WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
