apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
