I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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