Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
