So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize