I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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