We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
