some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
