Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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