Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
