im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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