that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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