A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
me + whiskey = a bad person
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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