Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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