His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
