Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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