he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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