he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's blow job season.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
