I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
