she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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