she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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