On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
