I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
