Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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