I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
