My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
