He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
