you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
