his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
