So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
