y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
