So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
